This past week has been quite interesting, actually very interesting. First it was Toke Makinwa’s lashing on guys and now Amara Nwosu, formerly and popularly known as Amara Van-Lare and her divorce.
First I want to point out that I have no personal relationship with any of these ladies even though social media has made the world quite small. And it is quite amazing the number of successes and destruction that this same social media has been causing, but this article is not about social media nor about these two women. THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT NIGERIAN WOMEN AND OUR LOVE FOR HYPOCRISY AND MAKE BELIEFS.
So, I walked into our showroom that beautiful morning, and instead of being greeted by the serenity of soft music, mint-lavender fragrance in the air and sparkling glassy space; it was heated, stale and noisy almost deafening as a group of five young ladies were screaming at each other, even pointing fingers. Were they going to fight?? Definitely not in here!.
Moving on, I inquired what the matter was and to my greatest surprise and amusement it was Toke Makinwa’s vlog. Seriously??? My heart sank at that moment not because of the names they were calling her but the fact that these ladies actually know Toke was right but they are so deeply buried in their lies and make belief lives to think otherwise.
Yes! You read that right, Toke is right. Women. At least real women loves to be chased and the least a man can do during this process is recharge his phone and call. Put in some effort. I mean “where a man’s treasure is, there his heart lie” and “where a man’s heart lie, he will do anything to preserve”. Don’t get it mixed up. If a man truly wants you from the very beginning you will know from his actions. He cannot be lazy to call and even when you call he acts like you are in a list of options and still you think its ok. It is not ok.
It is not in your place to keep calling, making the efforts, travelling the distance and constantly trying to impress just to get his attention. Sweet heart you are the lady, he is the man. Stop making him lazy. So many women find themselves on the wrong side of relationships and marriages because they miss it here.
Cut the crap! Stop making excuses why he cannot put in the work, and don’t even bring that leg of “what if he doesn’t have it at the moment”. Why wouldn’t he have it and want to have you? God gave Adam a job first before HE gave him Eve. WAKE UP SISTER. That a man feigns interest in you or flirt with you doesn’t necessarily mean he is into you.
The only way to know is to give him space and give it time, not by taking his role and making excuses for him at the same time. Just like two of the arguing ladies, most women are the ones carrying and shouldering their relationships and marriages. But of course there are cute pictures on Instagram, Facebook etc. showing off cars, exotic apartments, romantic vacations and dinners.
What about the myriads of comment from envious friends who think that they are being left behind, not realizing that before the picture was taken the lady may have been groveling and doing all manner of things just for that outing to happen.
Now to such a female it is ok for the guy not to call (actual call not WhatsApp) and put in any work, in fact she is always available every 5-6 months he actually remembers her because it is yet another opportunity for a photoshoot. MAKE BELIEF.
And so I had a little chat with one of the ladies who was so aggravated about the issue, she says ” my man has never been the calling type, even when he was chasing me but thanks to midnight calls then”. I smiled and nodded, what she didn’t know is I know more about her than she was letting on.
I admire her really, being married to a jobless man with 2kids, being the sole provider in the home from her 50k salary. Yet she’s living a Porsche life and driving a Porsche car while she is neck deep in debts, husband gradually drifting away as she is constantly trying to wield normalcy back into a shaky marriage. MAKE BELIEF.
Interestingly my client is not alone in this at all. In this part of the world we are just too interested in what to present to the world than what is actually happening behind closed doors. What we want the world to think of us and what we want them to believe. This brings me to the case of Amara Van-Lare. Sorry!! Amara Nwosu.
She is an online personality with a huge number of followership, and a strong online presence. If you don’t know her, feel free to look her up on google. She is a marriage and relationship counsellor who have helped thousands of people go through mishaps. I wasn’t told, i was there. This woman is good at what she does and so many young ladies and men follow and look up to her but the past week since she announced her divorce it hasn’t been the same.
No!! The followership hasn’t dropped, it is the attack on her person by the same people who worshipped and adored her. Surprisingly most of the attacks were coming from ladies. Women who had in one time or the other come to her with worst cases and she offered succor, advice and guidance.
Abusive and degrading comments all over her wall. A particular commenter even suggested she close down her practice. All because she practiced what she has been preaching?. HYPOCRSY! It may interest you to know that this wasn’t her first marriage nor divorce. So why is this one so spectacular??
Could it be because she decided to teach and guide people using her first experience? Should she have stayed in a toxic marriage because she is a counsellor? Or is it because of the so many romantic pictures in exotic locations around the world all over social media of herself and husband. Now ex?
Dear commenters, I honestly want to know why Nigerians are so angry at this lady for stepping out of her marriage, and for those people quoting scriptures about divorce, I am still to find that place in the bible that says “DIVORCE IS A SIN” please help a sister here.
And if divorce is a sin, is it the only sin? How about adultery? Fornication? Covetousness? Slander? And may I add… BATTERING ( Emotional or Physical). So, oh thou HOLY OF HOLIES before you start making your baseless argument, examine your life to make sure you are not a victim of your own staged performance called marriage/relationship.
Did I mention?? Boo Is around, so? Off to preach the gospel with him lol…, the ministry must move forward.…..It is life we don’t live it twice, keep it real.